sometimes, i do think about many greatest things in life has offered me and im so thankful for that.
like living in small town has Impact me a lot in thinking.
living in the small town doesnt mean all you could see just a smaller things, but beyond that you could see the biggest things that not everyone could o see. PEACE
growing up in the small town , maybe That was the happiest times in my life, i remember when i claimbed the tree, singing on the logs ,like i could imagine i was in a big stadium , i was singing.
and the birds ? and the leafs? i felt like they were the audience,
THAT FEELING WAS ALWAYS BE REMEMBER.
BUT , the things changed when i started study in big city.
i could see the light that lighter than my town, i could see so many people even in the middle of the night.
some people was working, some guys singing, and some girls.
and honestly, started the new life in the place that i wasnt belong to, it is a litlle brought me to confusion life like wondering life.
first, i notice a lot of different things way better that my small town.
i notice people dress so perfect,eat in big the restaurant.and also perfect social circumtances.
and also younger people spent their leisure time almost in the mall, even the children.
i remember when i was five years old, i played in the smud next to my garden.
but i did noticed that that kids in this big city was smarter than me when i was at my age.
the kid could speaks in english fluently like god my english is bad.
and i noticed all my friend in colleage, they were amazing, i couldnt chased them in every study.
even though i was alwasy number one in my high school.
started the new life is depressed md, i cried a lot back then.
i remember that i always underestimate my self, and started to lose faith in my self.
i remember cried in the middle of the nght without knew the reason,and started to complained about other things.
and i remember begging for something quit strange, i want my old self back.
i focused to searched my old self without builded my self right now.
i focused to searched something that i should probably understood in very first time,
it is okay to change, it is okay to feel different .
your self now is okay, honestly it is way better than the old one.
dont worry about the things you felt when you were in that small town.
you could always back, you could always remember those memories.
that feeling, that happiness, all is yours.
a lot of thing could changed, a lot of people could change, a lot of feeling could change but that is okay.
it is not your fault, it okay to change, if it times to change so that means is okay.
not all of ohter people's things, the peoples, the feeling is always the same as you.
cause you cant control people and you cant control the circumtances.
-2020
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